your friendly neighborhood poison (cyanide_blue) wrote,
your friendly neighborhood poison
cyanide_blue

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...I have the feeling I'm destroying my novel.


I'm editing out the personality. At least, that's what it feels like. Poor Maxa, she used to be a smartass, but then I felt as though maybe I was putting too much of myself into her, and someone her age wouldn't act like that, but maybe I'm wrong... maybe I'm killing the story.

Agh.

I need to rewrite her, I think, maybe I should do Pratchett's 400 words a day thing on her, just to get into her head. Because right now, she's a relatively blank slate, calm enough, quick but not nearly as quick-witted as before.

I don't want to screw this over. Wah.

This started out as an Anita Blake ripoff, I'll admit, but then it grew to be something more, and then it turned anti-war, and then it got too complicated for me to fathom. Then I stepped back for a few months (which ended up being HELL) and when I stepped back, I realized how much I've grown in those months, and how... bitchy Maxa seemed to be. How strange some of the situations I put her in were. I've done several large rewrites of ludicrous scenes and ideas, and I found that by rewriting and changing, that I ended up cutting at least five pages.

Is this good, or bad? Or am I just torturing myself with self-doubt?

Sweetie, if you still want to look at it, you can. I'm rewriting chapter one entirely, but two through five are done. I think you'll definitely notice a change.

And I'm feeling artistic lately... so anyone who wants a layout, ask. I will be more than willing to comply.
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